Tonight BJ and I performed with the Southwest Symphony, the Lieto Voices Choir, and 8 amazing soloists in a tour-de-force production of Lamb of God at the Cox Performance Center at DSU, filled to near capacity. It was one of the most powerful musical and spiritual experiences I have ever had and, though it is SO late, I must write a few of my feelings, knowing that the words I write will not begin to express the feelings I've felt tonight.
My role tonight was Martha, who sings "Make Me Whole" a piece begging the Savior to heal her and help her in dealing with the despair she faces after thinking her brother Lazarus is dead. It is a beautiful, powerful, achingly sorrowful yet hope-filled piece of music.
Even as I rehearsed it, I would be brought to tears as I contemplated the plight of Martha. A woman, in that time needed a protector. Without a husband, Martha looked to Lazarus not only as her brother but as her protector and provider. For her, losing him meant losing everything.
And yet, Martha's song is both a plea to the Savior for his help and also a statement of faith, that though she doesn't know how, she knows the Savior can make her whole.
I have approached this performance with a fair amount of nerves. We performed from memory and with only a few rehearsals with the symphony. Facing the concert tonight, I had only sung my part 3 times with the orchestra which was a bit frightening. With a piano accompanist you can make mistakes and know the accompanist will follow but with the machine that is a symphony, if a soloist messes up, the ship is sunk.
However, as I mentally prepared and prayed about tonight's performance, I prayed for peace and the ability to overcome any worry or fear and to truly tell Martha's story with my whole soul. I wanted to lay everything I have to give on the alter tonight. To share my soul, my faith, my testimony of Jesus Christ and all the times he has made me whole.
As I sat, staring out into the packed house tonight, instead of feeling fear, I felt gratitude and love and a responsibility to share in the best, most complete way, the message of hope and faith. As I stood and sang, I felt deeply. I could feel her sorrow and grief at the loss of her brother. I could feel her desperation and her plea to the Savior and MY pleas and desperation and hope in Christ. As I sang I was overcome with such a powerful feeling of being a witness of the Savior. Tonight I sang my witness, my testimony and my soul. And when I sat down, the Holy Ghost witnessed Divine approval.
Afterward many people said beautiful things to me, but the term several people used was "perfect". Certainly I am not perfect but I believe that opening of the soul and giving everything I could possibly give allowed Martha to come to life and her message to be shared in a way that deeply touched others.
I am SO grateful for these amazing, rare, precious opportunities! I'm grateful for the health and strength to sing and testify. I'm humbled at the opportunities and the power of spirit that I have felt as I sang tonight.
Lamb of God is an inspired piece and tonight I felt each soloist giving their very best gifts tonight. The stage was a sacred place tonight and each gave their offering. I believe all were accepted tonight.
2 days ago