Aunt Kathy's Funeral

Today, at the request of my Grandpa Robertson, I sang at my great aunt Kathy's funeral. It was an honor to be asked to sing. It always is. Singing at funerals always feels like a sacred experience. The spirit is always very present, almost tangible. Today was no exception.

I was asked to sing one of Kathy's favorite songs, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". I sang the piece as an encore at my graduate recital--it has always been a favorite.

I was first on the program, even before the invocation which was very unusual. As I began singing, I had a powerful impression that these are the words Kathy would sing, were she able to do so. I felt I was giving voice to her feelings. It's a feeling I've experienced before as I've sung at other funerals but it surprises and almost overwhelms me every time. I feel such a strong realization that our spirits live on and still love those who have been left behind. It is a feeling of deep love, peace, and desire for those who survive to listen. It is a sacred experience.

Though I've always loved Somewhere Over the Rainbow, I've never thought of it in this context. But, it actually served as the perfect song for this occasion. Uncle Kevin Halliday said I sounded like an angel and asked that I sing the same song at his funeral. I think I'd like someone to sing it at mine.

I honestly never know what to say when people compliment my singing. It never feels like I've done much except try to earnestly follow the spirit and give voice to the feelings in my heart. It is always such a joy to me to sing that I feel I should be thanking the listeners.

Mom's comment following the service was, "It must be so wonderful to be able to give a service like that (refering to my singing)." It was an interesting remark because I often feel like I don't give enough service. I'm sure I don't. I could do so much better. But it made me grateful that today I could do something unique to give voice to a remarkable woman and comfort her family in a special way.

Kathy's brother, Uncle David, spoke following my song. He said with some emotion that listening to the song reminded him of memories he hadn't thought of in years. David said he thought his sister was the most beautiful girl. When Kathy was still living at home their mother would play the piano and Kathy would stand next to her and sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". He found great joy in reliving that memory, sparked by a song.

Just before I stood to sing, the bishop conducting explained that 25 years ago Kathy and Max were driving and Somewhere Over the Rainbow came on the radio. Kathy turned to Max and made him promise that he would have it performed at her funeral. My song was fulfillment of that promise made long ago.

I couldn't look much at Max, Kathy's husband during the song. He sat right in front of me on the front row. Though I knew the song was largely for him, his weeping during the song, the alternating joy and sorrow it brought him, made it heart-breaking to look for long. However, as I sang the last phrase, "If happy little blue birds fly beyond the rainbow, why or why can't I?" I was able to look right into his eyes. He smiled through his tears and mouthed, "thank you". Following the service he told me twice that the music meant so much to him. "I'll never forget it," he said.

Neither will I.

Bedtime with the Boys

As Rachel has been helping at St. George Musical Theater with Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, I've been able to be with the kids to bed a fair amount.

We have a pretty specific routine with all the kids. Potty and Brush teeth; Read a book or two (or a chapter of a bigger bookfor the boys); and, finally, singing a few songs. As there has been just me to get the kids down some nights, I have recruited the boys to help me put Kate to bed.

Tonight, I told the boys we could read an extra chapter if they would put Kate to bed completely. I wasn't sure how that would go, so I kept a keen eye on them throughout the process. The bedtime routine went something like this:

-McKay changed Kate's Diaper (I inspected and he did a pretty good job!)

-Benson read her two books

-McKay fixed a bottle for her

-(I sneaked in and ensured her teeth were brushed and that she was dressed warm enough)

-When Benson was done, I went in to sing her a couple songs, but she requested Benson to sing to her. (I loved that!)

-Benson sang Bye-O-Bye to her while I sang to Lily in her bed.

-Benson came in to let me know that Kate was requesting me again.

-Benson took my place and sang a song to Lily (I loved this even more because he and Lily sometimes don't get along so well...)

Way to go Boys! I was so proud of them tonight. :)

Of course, the boys got ready for bed and I read them an extra chapter... or two :)

Love my little family!

Primary Program 2017

Today was our ward Primary Program. For the first time, three out of our four kiddos were up on the stand in the program. People always say, "time goes by so fast" but I'm beginning to realize how true that is. McKay will turn 10 this school year and only has one more year of elementary school after this. Though this phase of life is full of chaos and exhaustion, I know it is the best time of life and the part I'll miss the most when it's through.

Anyway, our kids did a great job, each delivered their parts well. Lily was on the front row in her pretty pink and white lace and tulle dress. Her long blond hair had even waves through it from the french braid she'd slept in. She charmed the congregation with her smiles, waves, and enthusiastic singing. Several members commented on how impressed they were that she knew all the words to each song. She spent the rest of the day singing her favorite song, "Miracles" to Nana, Papa, and anyone else who would listen. For me the highlight of the song was the lyric which talks about Jesus healing the leper. Lily's version, "With His hands he healed the leopard."

Benson stood straight and tall at each song and gave it his best. He was very well-behaved and looked like a little man in his dark pants, white shirt and blue striped tie. He is a bright spot in our family. Always quick to smile and apologize, sensitive to others feelings and happy to help. I can see his testimony developing as he answers thoughtfully during family scripture study and in church. He was a great example today during the program and I was so proud of him.

McKay also did well and looked so handsome in his white shirt and blue tie. He too sang well and delivered his part nicely. He did have a brief stint where he and the boy next to him seemed to be having a contest as to who could get the paper with their part written on it to stick to their forehead for the longest but, luckily, it was short-lived.

Our New House-Framing

Our House! 

As you can see, we are getting pretty excited about our new build! It's our dream home and brainchild. We spent over a year designing the plans and feel so grateful for the opportunity to see it coming to life!

The impetus for building this home was a recognition of the need for a space large enough for our whole family to gather. Now that the Robertson family has grown so much and, luckily, all love to get together, we've outgrown the homestead and need a new larger place. We realize the same thing will happen with our own children and want to have a space big enough to house our family at each stage of life.  

We also love music and end up holding choir rehearsals, Let's Play Music classes, and musical get-togethers often so we wanted to design a space that allowed for these kinds of large rehearsals and events.

Here are Benson and I on the stairs leading to the recording studio. Since beginning Singingforgood.org we've realized what an amazing thing it would be to have our own recording studio and be able to add to the site without incurring large studio expenses. 

Here's Benson demonstrating some of the great singing he'll do once the studio is done. Plus a sneak-peak of the beautiful view of Pine Valley we'll have from the studio.

View from the front door 

And us on the 3rd floor before the walls went up

View from the rear the day they brought a crane to lift the trusses!

Family Choir-Stake Conference

Today we had the unique opportunity to sing as a family in stake conference. The usual conference choir is made up of adults but since the focus of this conference was to be on families I wanted to let the music reflect that.

I was prompted to organize a family choir made up of families invited to participate from within the stake. We sang a sweet but simple arrangement of Love is Spoken Here and Families Can Be Together Forever.

Our little family stood on the front row of the choir. The boys were dressed in shirts and ties that matched BJ's. Little Lily wore a pink and white poofy dress. She was so small in the seat she could hardly keep it down with her weight.

The kids were a little wiggly and McKay did manage to smuggle in one Halo action figure, despite my repeated requests that all toys be left at home. Lily (being Lily) began trying to dance as soon as the song began. Luckily she took BJ and I's hands which helped keep her still but eventually I picked her up, at which point she saw Kyla leading the music and began doing her own version of conducting. Oh Lily.

Even so, we were able to stand as a family and sing together. As we did I felt a powerful spirit testifying to me of the importance of the work we are doing in our family. I am grateful to know that our family can be together forever. I know we can through Heavenly Father's plan for us.

Kate Speaks!

If she'd been my first or second child, I would have been worried but since she's the fourth, the fact that she hadn't spoken up by 2.5 yrs wasn't really troubling me. I knew she'd get there when she was ready...or when she could get a word in edgewise.

Sure enough, over the last few weeks she has started speaking! She loves to repeat everything which delights the boys to no end. They have her parroting all sorts of things such as "McKay is awesome!", "Dab hard" and "Brother rocks!"

My favorites include:
Swimming Soup (swimming suit)
Wah-wee (water)
Ee-ee (Lily)
Suggle (snuggle, which to my great joy, she wants to do every morning when she wakes up. Cutest. Thing. EVER)
Noak (milk)
Uv oo (love you)
Tow (cow)
Peek (pig)
Tat (cat)
Doss Ew (always said together- ew gross)
Shew fly, no bother!

Having multiple children has helped me realize that the time is so fleeting! I think I enjoy each child more now and worry less because I realize it will pass too quickly.

I feel so grateful every single day for these children the Lord has blessed BJ and I with. I would do anything for each one. I love them so!

Fears

Today as we were getting ready for church, McKay began talking to me about how he's unhappy in his life. He said he just doesn't feel happy each day. After some delicate probing I discovered he is worried about auditioning for the musical Willy Wonka. Initially he told me he wanted to audition so when the director approached me about being the musical director for the show I agreed, thinking it would be a wonderful way to have a theatrical experience with McKay.

Then, the day after I officially accepted the position, McKay told me he was frightened of the audition, so much so that he no longer wanted to do it. I told him he had to. Apparently ever since he's been worrying.

I did my best to listen sympathetically while also trying to get everyone including myself ready and out the door on time to church.

I told McKay that since auditions aren't until the end of October and it's only July that he shouldn't think about it for at least a month, but he persisted.

He talked and talked, complained and cried all the way out the door and into the van. The others had gone to church earlier, so it was just McKay, Lily and I in the van together. As we drove toward the church, McKay continued. Just as he was reaching the height of his oration saying, "And the thing I'm very most afraid of is..."

Lily, who had to this point been listening quietly piped up and cheerfully replied, "Bears?"