Aunt Kathy's Funeral

Today, at the request of my Grandpa Robertson, I sang at my great aunt Kathy's funeral. It was an honor to be asked to sing. It always is. Singing at funerals always feels like a sacred experience. The spirit is always very present, almost tangible. Today was no exception.

I was asked to sing one of Kathy's favorite songs, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". I sang the piece as an encore at my graduate recital--it has always been a favorite.

I was first on the program, even before the invocation which was very unusual. As I began singing, I had a powerful impression that these are the words Kathy would sing, were she able to do so. I felt I was giving voice to her feelings. It's a feeling I've experienced before as I've sung at other funerals but it surprises and almost overwhelms me every time. I feel such a strong realization that our spirits live on and still love those who have been left behind. It is a feeling of deep love, peace, and desire for those who survive to listen. It is a sacred experience.

Though I've always loved Somewhere Over the Rainbow, I've never thought of it in this context. But, it actually served as the perfect song for this occasion. Uncle Kevin Halliday said I sounded like an angel and asked that I sing the same song at his funeral. I think I'd like someone to sing it at mine.

I honestly never know what to say when people compliment my singing. It never feels like I've done much except try to earnestly follow the spirit and give voice to the feelings in my heart. It is always such a joy to me to sing that I feel I should be thanking the listeners.

Mom's comment following the service was, "It must be so wonderful to be able to give a service like that (refering to my singing)." It was an interesting remark because I often feel like I don't give enough service. I'm sure I don't. I could do so much better. But it made me grateful that today I could do something unique to give voice to a remarkable woman and comfort her family in a special way.

Kathy's brother, Uncle David, spoke following my song. He said with some emotion that listening to the song reminded him of memories he hadn't thought of in years. David said he thought his sister was the most beautiful girl. When Kathy was still living at home their mother would play the piano and Kathy would stand next to her and sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". He found great joy in reliving that memory, sparked by a song.

Just before I stood to sing, the bishop conducting explained that 25 years ago Kathy and Max were driving and Somewhere Over the Rainbow came on the radio. Kathy turned to Max and made him promise that he would have it performed at her funeral. My song was fulfillment of that promise made long ago.

I couldn't look much at Max, Kathy's husband during the song. He sat right in front of me on the front row. Though I knew the song was largely for him, his weeping during the song, the alternating joy and sorrow it brought him, made it heart-breaking to look for long. However, as I sang the last phrase, "If happy little blue birds fly beyond the rainbow, why or why can't I?" I was able to look right into his eyes. He smiled through his tears and mouthed, "thank you". Following the service he told me twice that the music meant so much to him. "I'll never forget it," he said.

Neither will I.